Most women I know, there are exceptions, are really care-givers when it comes to the needs of other people. We often want to make sure that everything is comfortable, okay, and drama-free. When there is any upheaval, we instantly want to run to the rescue and “fix-it” so that normalcy is restored.
We are the same in our relationships…but, believe it or not, this has the reverse effect. Normalcy is not restored and the problems is worsened. “Why is this? Why can’t my wanting to help my man fix our relationship problems be a good thing? Besides this is what I’m here for…to be his helpmeet, right?” These are questions that we all ask ourselves at one time or another.
Most men, not all, are what we have come to term as “Alpha Men”. These are men who are strong leaders in every aspect of their lives. They want to fix the problems, lead the direction of the relationship (at their pace), and make their women happy. They are Super-Men wanting to save the day. When we (ladies) take charge in our relationships, we disempower our men and discourage them from wanting to make us happy. They subconsciously adopt the attitude that we don’t need them and they stop trying. There is however, a subtle line between helping them and helping them to be encouraged about helping us. Seems like a conundrum of mixed messages, but really, it’s the logical way a man thinks.
The biggest turn on for a man, any man, is a woman who seeks to take care of herself first. This goes against the grain of everything we as women were taught about relationships. We were taught, usually by example, that our men come first. Yet, in reality, a women who does this struggles with her man being there as a support for her when she needs it. His perception of her is that “if she doesn’t care for herself, why should I?” This is harse, I know…but, try to understand the deeper psychology behind the thinking of an Alpha Man. He wants to know that if anything ever happens to him (God forbid) that the women he chooses to take care of , can take care of herself…this is really quite charming!
Personally, I have always attracted the Alpha Male, and admittedly made some missteps in dealing with them because of my strong, take-charge disposition. Women who are like me should take time to learn to “soften” that side of their personalities when it comes to relationships. Understand that an Alpha Man wants to take care of you…so, I let him. Empower him to do more for you, by simply telling him how you feel about certain things, or sharing your desired experiences. Then sit back and watch him pull it all together to make it happen. Sometimes, it takes him longer to figure it out – but rather than be impatient and demand it “now”, understand that he will do it in his own time, at his own pace because he knows that ultimately he will be your Super-hero. That’s what our Alpha Men wants, ladies, to be our Super- hero!
To sum this up…
A Woman Like Me…will allow her man to take the lead in the reltionship because she knows that he wants to be her hero and save the day. We understand that unless he directly asks for our help, that he has it under control even when we think he doesn’t.
Soul-Mate Talk 