Over the weekend, some family and friends gathered at my Dad’s house for a BBQ. We all played cards, dominoes, and engaged in some interesting conversations. We began talking about relationships…I don’t know why, but this always seems to be the discussion that inspires the most emotionally charged participation.
Afterward, I began to really think about the concept of building a relationship, and as I have written about in many posts and my book A Woman Like Me…A Man Like You, I discovered a new revelation that I will share here.
When two people come together in a union whether its legally binding or not, it is more than just about the two people. There is a third person, or entity, that being brought into the equation that is often overlooked and sometimes ignored…that entity is ‘WE’.
‘WE’ is the compromise between YOU and ME. WE is the stability that builds the relationship and grows it. Whenever there is no growth in the relationship, stop and take at look at how much attention YOU and ME have paid to WE.
YOU and ME are fine as individuals and the best relationships accept each other as the individuals that they are – this means respecting the boundaries that are created in the relationships while have the freedom and flexibility each individual needs to grow and develop. The problem that plague relationships that are in trouble or are experiencing stagnation, is the inability to invest in WE, of YOU and ME. While it is important to not lose yourself and ignore your authentic self, it is also important to continually invest in the WE so that this part of the relationship grows to become an effortless union that has developed a respect for the individuals that created it.
The only time couples suffer in their relationships is when WE is completely ignored and disregarded. When the attitude that it’s all about YOU or it’s all about ME, doesn’t make room for the inclusion of WE. Couples must realize that they have partially abandoned the idea of a solo act once they make the commitment to have a relationship with someone. At the moment of union, the WE entity is created but undeveloped. It takes time to grow and nurture WE and in that development phase comes, too, individual personal and spiritual growth. It is a challenge to some, but those who take the time to understand that there is this important aspect of their relationship will succeed where most fail in the arena of love.
So, to answer the question is three a crowd when it comes to YOU, ME, and WE? Answer: Only if YOU and ME don’t nurture, develop, and grow WE.
A Woman Like Me…gives birth to the WE at the moment a commitment is given by YOU.
************
Visit Amazon for a KINDLE version of A WOMAN LIKE ME…A MAN LIKE YOU
Soul-Mate Talk 